Once upon a time in a crystal clear pond lived a large family of crawdads. The three young kids loved to swim around and explore every inch of the pond.
One day, the youngest of the bunch came upon a tall twig sticking out of the water. His siblings urged him to stay away from the twig. Dangerous predators could lurk above, and no one had ever climbed to the top.
The young crawdad said, “Don’t be such scaredy cats. I’m just going to take a look.”
The young crawdad made his way up the twig. It’s heart beat fast with excitement. Almost there. The sunlight was shining, beckoning him to the surface.
Finally, he made it to the top and stuck his tiny head out. The world above was wonderous. He turned to see the land next to him when… snap! A raccoon reached in and bit the crawdad in half, swallowing him up.
The young crawdad screamed as his lower body sank to the bottom. And that was the end of Irving the crawdad.
My latest comedy parody video is available for viewing. Enjoy!
Produced by Kia Hellman, Cary Tusan & Nirvana Adams
Written by Cary Tusan
Directed by Nirvana Adams
Director of Photography – Ted Hayash
Editor – Libya El-Amin
1st Camera Assistant – Elizabeth Derstine
Swing – Jacob Fisher
Gaffer – Javaun Crane-Bonell
Script Supervisor – Andrea Rojas
Boom Operator – Cary Tusan
Still Photographer – Lily Kravets
Lisa – Kia Hellman
Kim – Bonnie Kolber
Amanda – Diona Elise Burnett
Ray – Hugh Mason
Digital Film Studios
Once upon a time, there a Daddy Longlegs arachnid named Terrence. His friends called him “Terry” for short. Terry decided to make his home inside a two-bedroom apartment. He loved the bathroom. It was cool, dank, and had plants where gnats, and bugs flew into. Terry loved to feed off of them.
One day, Terry decide to explore the bedroom. He had never been in the bedroom before. His friends warned him, “Don’t go in the bedroom.” But Terry was adventurous and said to his fellow spider friends, “I’m a nimble Daddy Longlegs. I’ll be fine.” And off he went.
Terry was amazed at how large the bedroom was. There were many hiding places there, from the curtains to the closet, to under the bed. While Terry was exploring the room, the owners arrived home. He froze, right above the bed, hoping they wouldn’t notice.
One of the owners lied down in the bed and looked up, right at Terry. “Ahh! A big spider!” shouted the owner. The other owner leapt into action and stood up on the bed to get a closer look at Terry. This was not good, so Terry decided to high-tail it out of there. Alas, Terry was not as fast as he thought, and the owner squashed him with a tissue. Terry was dead.
Once upon a time there was a grumpy, old tree. It was a tall, wide tree with many branches that wanted to be left alone. All of the birds, animals, and insects knew to stay away from the tree. It was so grumpy, that when humans came by and attempted to climb on the tree or play near it, the tree would drop it’s branches on them. Usually knocking down the humans, who would run away, sad and hurt.
One day, a young woodpecker landed on the tree and attempted to make a home. The tree shook itself and bellowed “Get off me, you pipsqueak!” The woodpecker lost it’s balance and fell, injuring itself. The woodpecker’s family came to its rescue and saved it.
As night fell, the grumpy, old tree felt proud of itself, satisfied it had re-established it’s domain. The next morning the tree awoke to the sounds of pecking from hundreds of woodpecker’s, and the gnawing of squirrels. The tree screamed. The army of animals were attacking it. The tree dropped leaves and branches. In a matter of minutes the animals gouged a hole in the tree’s trunk and it fell with a thunderous crash. The animals danced around the dying tree. “Shut up!” yelled the tree.
Soon, a group of humans came by with axes and chopped up the tree into pieces. They took home the pieces and burned it for firewood. The tree was no more.
Once upon a time there was a big-headed cat. All the other cats would tease her, saying she couldn’t fit through the cat door, couldn’t properly eat out of her bowl, or climb up a tree. All due to her abnormally large head that threw off her balance.
One day, the big-headed cat was playing all by herself when she saw one of the bully cats stuck in the street. A big, shiny SUV was racing toward the stuck cat. Big-headed cat ran to the street and swung her big head at the oncoming car. The SUV flipped over and slid down the block into a gas station. The SUV blew up. It’s driver died. The stuck cat was saved.
All the neighborhood cats rejoiced and accepted the big-headed cat. She was a hero.
Once upon a time there was a little kid named Ollie, who was afraid of the crack between the pillows in his bed. Every night Ollie would avoid the dark space before falling asleep.
One night, Ollie decided to explore what was in the crack and fell inside. He disappeared into another world. Ollie was greeted by sunshine, chocolate trees, and happy people everywhere. He felt like he was in paradise. Eating, playing, laughing.
Ollie happily played on a swing set, a trampoline and then a slide. On the slide, Ollie noticed a chasm at the bottom. He slide right into it and vanished.
Ollie reappeared in his bed, his Mom shaking him awake for school. The crack was gone. He was back in the real world. It sucked.
Once upon a time a guy decided to wear his hair in a man-bun. He loved walking around showing off his man-bun. “Hey, man-bun!” friends and strangers would say to him.
After a while, man-bun guy felt like he needed more. He decided to grow a thick beard. Six months later, he had a thick, pointy trimmed beard, and peppered it with green glitter in honor of St. Patrick’s Day. Man-bun proudly walked around showing off his glitter beard. His friends and strangers smiled and said “Happy Saint Paddy’s Day, man-bun-glitter-beard guy!” as he passed them by.
Soon, man-bun-glitter-beard guy needed more. He decided to start Vaping. Man-bun-glitter-beard guy walked around Vaping everywhere. His friends and strangers shouted “Nice Vape, man-bun-glitter-beard-Vape guy!”
Finally, he was satisfied. Then one day he blew such a large cloud while Vaping that he didn’t see the open manhole on the street. He fell into the hole and died, along with his man-bun, his glitter, and his Vape.
Once upon a time there was a fungus that lived under a big toe. The fungus loved the big toe, as it’s the favorite toe of them all. The massive nail provided the right amount of moisture and cover for the fungus to thrive.
And boy, did that fungus thrive. It grew and grew, proud of how much of the nail and toe it conquered. Soon, the fungus had it’s eyes set on the other toes. The pièce de résistance was the little toe. The baby.
One night, as the fungus was making it’s plan of attack, a huge hand came at it. The hand dabbed a large cotton ball full of tea tree oil. The fungus didn’t like the smell of this. The cotton ball released a waterfall of oil. There was no where for the fungus to hide.
All through the night the fungus fought against the oil, but it was no match. The fungus shrank and shrank. In the morning, the fungus and it’s dreams of conquest were dead.
Once upon a time there was a cute, adorable duck. He lived with his friends in a pond. While all of his friends would play, have fun, waddle up to strangers, he would stay off to the side so he could ponder the meaning of life.
His friends would tease him, “Why are you so glum?”
“I’m not glum. I just need to think. Go away!” The duck would respond.
One day the duck had enough of his friends teasing, so he flew off in search of peace and quiet.
The duck came upon an empty pond. Finally, a place to think. For days on end, the duck pondered the meaning of life, ignoring his surroundings.
“Ah-hah! I understand!” Shouted the duck.
Then a hunter came along and shot the duck. He and the meaning of life died.
Once upon a time there was a little boy who refused to eat his vegetables at lunch and dinner. He would throw his broccoli, carrots and peas on the floor and shout “I don’t wanna!”
His parents tries all different ways to make vegetables fun for their son. They failed time and time again.
One night, after the child blew his top and smashed all his steamed veggies, his parents sent him to his room.
The little boy lay happily in his bed. Another night without any greens. As the night wore on and the bright moon shone, stalks of broccoli, sticks of carrots, and an army of peas came alive. They jumped on top of the boy and pushed him out of bed. He woke up with a start. The head broccoli threatened the boy, whispering, “If you don’t eat us, we’ll take your parents away!”
The next day, when the parents gave the boy his vegetables, he eagerly ate them and asked for more. He never again said, “I don’t wanna.”