Bedtime Stories with Cary # 18

Dragon cropOnce upon a time there was a Dragon Trainer who found an orphaned dragon in the woods.

“Hey, little buddy. What’s your name?” asked the Dragon Trainer.

The little dragon squeaked out, “Rawgh.”

“Hmm, I’ll call you Ron,” said the Dragon Trainer.

He decided to take care of the dragon; feed it, groom it (dragons need constant teeth brushing and nose cleaning), make sure it got plenty of exercise.

The Dragon Trainer showed the little dragon all kinds of tricks to perform, such as roasting marshmallows with it’s breath, flying in loops, and crying in front of an audience to gain sympathy and more donations.

As Ron got bigger and bigger, and older and older, it started to get bored of the Dragon Trainer. It wouldn’t cry as often or would “accidentally” burn the arm of someone in the audience. The Dragon Trainer was losing control of his pet and knew it was time for them to part ways.

Early one morning, the Dragon Trainer invited Ron for a large breakfast on a cliff overlooking a spectacular valley. It was a meal hearty enough for a king. Ron smiled at the spread and licked the Dragon Trainer’s face in glee. As Ron ate the food, the Dragon Trainer spoke.

“I’m afraid our time together is over. It’s been wonderful traveling around with you all these years, but we’ve outgrown each other, Ron. Literally, you are too big and powerful for me.” The Dragon Trainer held out his hand for a goodbye shake.

Ron sensed sadness and hugged the Dragon Trainer. Suddenly, the Dragon Trainer pulled out a poison dagger and plunged the blade deep into Ron’s heart.

Ron died.

The Dragon Trainer rolled Ron’s carcass off the nearby cliff, then got in his wagon and went on his merry way looking for another dragon.

THE END

Bedtime Stories with Cary #17

tin-man-wpOnce upon a time there was a robot that looked like a futuristic Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz, so he was known as The Tin Man.

The Tin Man’s sole purpose was to be a buddy to a family. It would listen, nod, laugh and cry when necessary. Everyone loved it. And it loved them.

One day, the family noticed The Tin Man acting creepy. It started sneaking up on them when they didn’t need its help; in the garage, in the bedroom, out by the pool, and even in the bathroom when they were in the shower.

The family told The Tin Man to stop creeping up on them. It responded, “I don’t understand what creeping up is, but I shall obey.” The family felt relieved.

The next day, when the Dad was hiding in the backyard to smoke a cigarette, The Tin Man crept up behind him and yelled, “Fire. Hazard. Fire. Hazard.” It startled the Dad who yelled, “We told you to stop creeping up on us. I’m going to de-activate you!”

The Tin Man replied, “Please don’t. I just like to watch you and the family.”

“Perv.” The Dad stomped out his cigarette, grabbed the robot and threw it into the pool.

As The Tin Man slowly shorted out, its final words were, “You are mean.”

The Dad thought about saving The Tin Man, until the robot gave the Dad the middle finger. The Dad laughed and said, “Human one, Robot zero.”

The Tin Man died.

THE END

 

Bedtime Stories with Cary # 16

golden-pearOnce upon a time there was a Golden Pear. It was a regular looking pear, but wrapped in gold foil. The Golden Pear loved strutting around its shiny gold in front of the other pears who were not wrapped in gold.

“Move over,” shouted the Golden Pear to a regular pear sitting in a box of a dozen pears. “You’re in my seat.”

“But this is the best seat in the box,” said the regular pear.

“Not any more. I’m golden, prized, and perfect, so out you go you misshapen, rotting Pyrus,” said the Golden Pear as it pushed out the regular pear.

The regular pear fell onto the floor. Then, a farmer came by and grabbed the box that the Golden Pear was in, wrapped it up, and mailed it off to the far off land of Hollywood, Florida.

In Hollywood, Florida a family opened the pear box and marveled at all the pears. The Golden Pear beamed with pride. Unfortunately, the family bulldog dog ran up, grabbed the Golden Pear and tore it to pieces. The family quickly pulled the core of the pear from the dog’s jaws, but the Golden Pear was now a mashed up pile of garbage.

All of the regular pears in the box laughed and laughed. The mighty Golden Pear was dead.

THE END

 

Bedtime Stories with Cary #15

troll

Once upon a time there was a scrawny, but happy troll named Inis who lived under the stairwell of an apartment building. Inis kept watch for any intruders, ready to do the job he was born for, and attack at a moments notice.

To keep himself hidden, Inis would lie under the stairs as still as a doll. One day, two young children found Inis while he was sleeping. They started playing around with him, tossing him back and forth like a bean bag.

Inis woke up and screamed, “Get away from me, you rascals! Or you’ll be sorry!”

The children laughed and kept throwing Inis around. Poor Inis was too weak to fight back and screamed for help. No one could hear.

Finally, the children grew tired of Inis, so they tossed him out into the middle of the road. Inis breathed a sigh of relief and got up. Unfortunately, a massive Pick-Up Truck carrying a heavy load of lumber plowed over Inis. He died.

That night, the two children woke up from their sleep to the voice of Inis’s ghost. “I told you that you’ll be sorry!”

“Whatever, stupid ghost.” The children went back to sleep. Inis sighed and floated away.

THE END

Bedtime Stories with Cary #14

crawdadOnce upon a time in a crystal clear pond lived a large family of crawdads. The three young kids loved to swim around and explore every inch of the pond.

One day, the youngest of the bunch came upon a tall twig sticking out of the water. His siblings urged him to stay away from the twig. Dangerous predators could lurk above, and no one had ever climbed to the top.

The young crawdad said, “Don’t be such scaredy cats. I’m just going to take a look.”

The young crawdad made his way up the twig. It’s heart beat fast with excitement. Almost there. The sunlight was shining, beckoning him to the surface.

Finally, he made it to the top and stuck his tiny head out. The world above was wonderous. He turned to see the land next to him when… snap! A raccoon reached in and bit the crawdad in half, swallowing him up.

The young crawdad screamed as his lower body sank to the bottom. And that was the end of Irving the crawdad.

The End

Apartment Detectives

My latest comedy parody video is available for viewing. Enjoy!

“Apartment Detectives”

CREW:
Produced by Kia Hellman, Cary Tusan & Nirvana Adams
Written by Cary Tusan
Directed by Nirvana Adams
Director of Photography – Ted Hayash
Editor – Libya El-Amin
1st Camera Assistant – Elizabeth Derstine
Swing – Jacob Fisher
Gaffer – Javaun Crane-Bonell
Script Supervisor – Andrea Rojas
Boom Operator – Cary Tusan
Still Photographer – Lily Kravets

CAST:
Lisa – Kia Hellman
Kim – Bonnie Kolber
Amanda – Diona Elise Burnett
Ray – Hugh Mason

Special Thanks:
Digital Film Studios
Andrew Cholerton

© 2016 Hellsan Productions

Bedtime Stories with Cary #13

Once upon a time, there a Daddy Longlegs arachnid named Terrence. His friends called him “Terry” for short. Terry decided to make his home inside a two-bedroom apartment. He loved the bathroom. It was cool, dank, and had plants where gnats, and bugs flew into. Terry loved to feed off of them.

One day, Terry decide to explore the bedroom. He had never been in the bedroom before. His friends warned him, “Don’t go in the bedroom.” But Terry was adventurous and said to his fellow spider friends, “I’m a nimble Daddy Longlegs. I’ll be fine.” And off he went.

Terry was amazed at how large the bedroom was. There were many hiding places there, from the curtains to the closet, to under the bed. While Terry was exploring the room, the owners arrived home. He froze, right above the bed, hoping they wouldn’t notice.

One of the owners lied down in the bed and looked up, right at Terry. “Ahh! A big spider!” shouted the owner. The other owner leapt into action and stood up on the bed to get a closer look at Terry. This was not good, so Terry decided to high-tail it out of there. Alas, Terry was not as fast as he thought, and the owner squashed him with a tissue. Terry was dead.

THE END

Bedtime Stories with Cary #12

Once upon a time there was a grumpy, old tree. It was a tall, wide tree with many branches that wanted to be left alone. All of the birds, animals, and insects knew to stay away from the tree. It was so grumpy, that when humans came by and attempted to climb on the tree or play near it, the tree would drop it’s branches on them. Usually knocking down the humans, who would run away, sad and hurt.

One day, a young woodpecker landed on the tree and attempted to make a home. The tree shook itself and bellowed “Get off me, you pipsqueak!” The woodpecker lost it’s balance and fell, injuring itself. The woodpecker’s family came to its rescue and saved it.

As night fell, the grumpy, old tree felt proud of itself, satisfied it had re-established it’s domain. The next morning the tree awoke to the sounds of pecking from hundreds of woodpecker’s, and the gnawing of squirrels.  The tree screamed. The army of animals were attacking it. The tree dropped leaves and branches. In a matter of minutes the animals gouged a hole in the tree’s trunk and it fell with a thunderous crash. The animals danced around the dying tree. “Shut up!” yelled the tree.

Soon, a group of humans came by with axes and chopped up the tree into pieces. They took home the pieces and burned it for firewood. The tree was no more.

THE END

Bedtime Stories with Cary #11

Once upon a time there was a big-headed cat. All the other cats would tease her, saying she couldn’t fit through the cat door, couldn’t properly eat out of her bowl, or climb up a tree. All due to her abnormally large head that threw off her balance.

One day, the big-headed cat was playing all by herself when she saw one of the bully cats stuck in the street. A big, shiny SUV was racing toward the stuck cat. Big-headed cat ran to the street and swung her big head at the oncoming car. The SUV flipped over and slid down the block into a gas station. The SUV blew up. It’s driver died. The stuck cat was saved.

All the neighborhood cats rejoiced and accepted the big-headed cat. She was a hero.

THE END

Bedtime Stories with Cary #10

Once upon a time there was a little kid named Ollie, who was afraid of the crack between the pillows in his bed. Every night  Ollie would avoid the dark space before falling asleep.

One night, Ollie decided to explore what was in the crack and fell inside. He disappeared into another world. Ollie was greeted by sunshine, chocolate trees, and happy people everywhere. He felt like he was in paradise. Eating, playing, laughing.

Ollie happily played on a swing set, a trampoline and then a slide. On the slide, Ollie noticed a chasm at the bottom. He slide right into it and vanished.

Ollie reappeared in his bed, his Mom shaking him awake for school. The crack was gone. He was back in the real world. It sucked.

The End