Super Sad – A Tale

Once upon a time a trio of superheroes, Mercy, Locksmith, and The Judge roamed the city fighting for good. They were battling an ugly, smelly villain befitting of his name, Ogre, along with his ten genetically altered, diminutive henchmen, The Minis. The battle started like any other battle of super-beings; out in public where mass carnage can take place. Kind of narcissistic, but no one gets into the superhero or villain business to remain invisible, unless you are literally the Invisible Woman.

In the middle of the recklessly destructive battle a young boy in a t-shirt with a big tear drop symbol walked up behind the heroes. He stood there for a moment then shouted, “I am Crybaby!”

After a moment the battle halted as all of the superheroes and villains turned to look at this strange looking kid with the odd name. “Is he one of yours?” asked Ogre to the superheroes.

The Judge looked Crybaby up and down and said, “I don’t remember fostering a child.”

“I am Crybaby!” he shouted in the same manner.

Mercy bent down to talk to the boy. “Little kid, you should move away from here for your safety. We’re here to protect people like yourself.”

“Come on, I want to get back to pummeling you all and laughing while I do it.”

Crybaby lightly touched Mercy and said, “You are still upset that you left home when you were 15 and seemingly abandoned your mother who had a Whippet problem that eventually killed her four years later.”

Mercy takes a step back. “What? How did you know…?” Mercy starts to sob.

Locksmith puts a comforting arm around Mercy. “Look what you did, kid. Go home.”

Crybaby looks at Locksmith, closes her eyes a moment then opens them. “You regret that in 2005 when you had the chance to step in front of a bullet from one of the Minis, you choose not too and a five year old girl had her hand blown off.”

As Locksmith started to cry, Orge bellowed, “Hah! That was a good day. You were stupid, Locksmith.”

Crybaby walked up to Orge and touched his hand then said, “When you were in high school and puberty set in, you couldn’t stop your hormones so when you got in front of the class for an oral presentation and instead got a huge boner, everyone laughed, including the teacher. You felt humiliated. That moment haunts you every day and night. Your friends whose approval you sought walked away from you and taunted you as the Jolly Green Boner. That set you off on a path of anger and approval that will never satisfy you.”

At first Ogre looked at Crybaby stone-faced, then he too began bawling like there was no tomorrow. Soon all of Ogre’s Minis were crying as well, caught up in the river of tears.

The Judge looked around at the carnage around him turned to Crybaby. “Who the fuck are you? And how are you doing this?”

“I am Crybaby. My super-power is sadness and I want to be part of your team.”

“Or what? You’ll make me cry?” said The Judge.

“No. I’ll just kill you.” Crybaby gave The Judge a cold hard stare filled with overwhelming sadness.

“Okay, you’re in, kid.”

Crybaby shed a single tear of joy.



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