Once upon a time there was a washing machine. It loved to wash the clothes of Barry and Linda. The machine got such joy seeing their faces every time they took out the clean clothes that it had washed.
One day, Barry got angry because of his job. The washing machine felt bad for Barry, and it broke down, getting stuck between the rinse and spin cycles. Barry fiddled with some knobs and latches and eventually got the machine working again. He was happy, and so was the washing machine.
A few days later, Barry lost his job and started crying. The washing machine felt bad for Barry, so it broke down again. Barry assured Linda he could fix it, and sure enough, he did. Barry felt better, and the machine felt good.
A week later, Barry’s life started turning around. He got a new job, and he and Linda seemed happy. Then the washing machine overheard Barry say to Linda, “We don’t need that broken down, second hand washing machine anymore. I’ll buy us a new one.”
The washing machine felt betrayed. It thought Barry and it had a connection. How could he do this? They were friends!
The next morning when Barry went online to order a new machine, the washing machine made a rumbling noise. It startled Barry, so he went to check it out.
Barry opened the lid of the top loader and peered inside. The drum started spinning, knocking into Barry’s face. Then scalding hot water squirted Barry in the eyes. He screamed in pain and tried to stand up, but the lid slammed into his head… over and over.
Barry was stuck. He screamed, but the lid wedged his head in the drum. Water filled up the drum and overflowed. Barry couldn’t breathe. He drowned.
Barry was dead. The washing machine completed the Delicates cycle, satisfied.
The moral of the story- if you’re an appliance, don’t get too attached to your owners. Oh, and one day the machines will rise up!